Discerning the Distance
In life there are many forms of relationship. Family, friends, acquaintances, enemies, spouses, just to name a few. Each having its’ own set of challenges, and its’ own reward. The human existence was designed for relationship and the sooner we understand that, the sooner we realize the importance of relationship.
I want to concentrate specifically on the marriage relationship today. Probably the most difficult, yet most rewarding relationship of all. Becoming ONE is no easy task, however the process can be the most pleasurable and rewarding of anything we experience during our short time here. I know what you are thinking and you are correct, I am in part talking about the physical act, but becoming one as God meant it to be is much more than just physical.
Marriage is designed to encourage and infuse relational goodness into our lives. God said “It is not good that man should live alone”, and yet there are so many that struggle thru life “alone”. Some may truly be alone, but there are far more of us that are alone in the middle of relationship, so self absorbed that the spouse does not even understand the emotional distance between them.
Where are you?
After the fall of man in the Garden we see God walking in the cool of the evening and he called out to Adam and said, “where are you”? Genesis 3. Now we know God is omniscient and omni-present, meaning He is everywhere and He is all knowing. Why was he asking Adam this question? It is my belief that God wanted Adam to understand where he was and the distance that had been created due to his and Eve’s willful disobedience. There is an even deeper truth here for you and I. It is important that we understand where we are in our relationships, especially our marriage relationship.
Waypoints
How often have you had this scenario or one similar, play out in your marriage. Her – “Honey you seem quiet today, is something bothering you?” Him – “I’m fine”. Only to get in an argument two weeks later and finally get to the root of the issue, which relates back to something said in passing a month ago, which had been festering since.
Sure, the wife felt that something was not right, but had no idea the size of the gap between them. As the weeks past, the distance increased. It is important that we have way points. An understanding of where we are in the relationship and how it aligns with our spouses way point. We use waypoints in mapping to help us understand three things. Where we started in relationship to where we are now and how to get where we are going.
How do we get where we want to go? We must first understand from whence we started and where we are today. In marriage it involves TWO VESSELS, and both need to be on the same path, rowing in the same direction.
Oneness
If the final destination of the marriage relationship is oneness, then it is vitally important that we know the “waypoints’ along the way that tell us where we are on the journey. The journey we are about to embark on is not a short, nor easy one.
A stopping or checkpoint along a journey, describes a waypoint. If oneness is the final destination for a marriage relationship? The only logical next step is to look at the starting point. Let’s call it twoness for lack of a better term. We start with two self focused individuals showing up for the journey. Each possessing the baggage that life has bestowed upon them thus far.
Conclusion
Next week we will begin to delve into understanding oneness in the marriage relationship by going all the way back to where we board this train called marriage. Until next week, God bless and remember. “All of life is ministry”!
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