No Problem, BIG Problem

How attitude, approach and focus can impact Life, Ministry, and Business

I (Ricky), am a Continuous Improvement professional by trade. My job is identifying and solving problems within organizations businesses, and ministries. What I have learned over the years in this role is that processes in business organizations mimic those in life, and vice-versa. The title I used here is a well-known concept in our continuous improvement world. The premise is simply this, if you don’t know where your problems are in your process or organization, or you are unwilling to even think that you have problems, you have a big problem!

In Life as in Business or Ministry, our marriages, our families, and our relationships are all complex and riddled with issues. If you do not believe that you have problems or know how to identify them, life will hit you like a runaway freight train. How many times have we heard stories about relationships that abruptly ended, and someone states “I had no idea this was coming. I thought we were happy, or our marriage was safe”!

The intent of this post is not to promote doom’s day thinking or to cause people to think there is no hope. We also do not want people seeing problems where there are not. We simply want to help people identify and begin working through problems before the problems grow into a disaster.

Step One – Houston, we have a problem!

Whether we are talking about relationships, business processes, or even ourselves, we all have pride and ownership in our accomplishments and ultimately what I will call “Our Baby”. The problem is like any parent or grandparent, often times we do not see any flaws or issues with “our baby”. It is hard for us to see that our baby may be flawed or ugly. As the old saying goes, admitting it is half the battle. If your attitude about yourself, your relationships or your business/ministry is “I don’t have any problems”, you have a BIG problem. As Proverbs 16:18 states. “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall”!

Step Two – The Real McCoy

The second step in solving any problem, whether relational, organizational, or process oriented, is the accurate identification of THE PROBLEM. Too many times we wind up focusing on the symptom or outcome of the problem, rather than the actual problem. This activity can lead us to exerting effort in the wrong direction.

Example

Bob and Sue, a fictitious married couple have been married for ten years. Sue happens to walk in and find Bob browsing Porn sites on his phone. Sue is devastated and storms out of the room. The ensuing conversations begin to focus on what the problem was in their marriage that caused Bob to turn to pornography. Bob begins to share that it was an accident, it simply popped up on his phone and he continued to look and before he knew it, he couldn’t stop.

On the surface it seems that the phone is the problem, easy access to the images has caused the issue. So let’s just remove the phone from Bob. How practical would that be? Would that solve the problem? The answer is “not likely”, it’s the chicken and egg discussion. Did the desire or draw come first, or did the access provided by his phone truly come first?

Egg

If the answer is the egg or “access” is the real problem, then removing access could resolve it? Putting tracking or blocking on the phone could hinder or inspire Bob to stay away from those intimacy and relationship destroying images. But, what if access is not the true problem, and is that the only source feeding the problem?

Chicken

Let’s say that Bob and Sue had some very open and hard conversations, and Bob began to share honestly with his wife. Turns out Bob has had a “looking” problem for quite some time. From his teenage years, he has viewed women as sexual objects, often fantasizing about other women, and now that we have these tiny computers in our hand it is far easier to access the images and videos that fuel the thoughts that have been there all along. How does removing the phone sound in resolving the problem now? It is common for people to say “the affair just happened or it just popped up”, however the fact is there is a chain of events. We start looking or having conversations with others about faults with our spouse or our relationship. Affairs start emotionally long before any thing physical happens.

This is why Jesus said if we look at a woman to lust after her, we have committed adultery in our heart. That is why it is so important that we understand the real problem we are dealing with.

The Rub

This hypothetical, yet all to real situation goes a long way in helping me drive the point home that identifying the REAL problem is key to resolving any problem. Whether you are trying to figure out why your car won’t start, why your child is failing math in 5th grade, or your marriage lacks the fire or passion it once had, you must identify the actual problem, not merely a symptom or result of the problem. When you understand what the true problem is, you can then begin to get to the ROOT of it.

The Root

The third step in solving problems is taking the time to get to the root. Many people want to jump straight from problem identification to implementing a countermeasure, or in Texas terms “Fixing it”. This approach will keep you going around the same old mountain because if you don’t get to that root, it will just keep coming back, like those weeds in your yard that you keep mowing down, and they keep coming right back up!

As we discussed above with Bob, once the root of the problem has been identified you can begin the process of yanking that thing out, or more professionally stated, applying countermeasures to address the problem.

Summary

As Tina and I work with couples in marriage and as I work with teams and organizations in businesses and ministries. I have seen this playout over and over. We have seen the Spirit exact the same process on lives and relationships through our marriage mentorship both in our lives and the lives of others.

The Process

1. Admit that you or your “baby” are not perfect. That you have problems that need to be dealt with.
2. Identify the “Real Problem”
3. Drive to the Root of the Problem and find ways to address it
4. Enlist countermeasures to address it.

Thanks for playing along, remember “all of life is ministry!”

Ricky and Christina Banks