Social Construct, Idea, or Fundamental Truth
No matter your world view, there is no doubt that the marriage union is highly contested! Whether it be the question of contract versus covenant, same sex unions, or even the fundamental purpose of marriage for the individuals in the relationship. This post is not intended to provoke arguments for or against, but to provide some context for discussion and cover at a high level the fundamental beliefs and principles of marriage from the bible upon which the Christian perspective is founded.
Our Marriage Story
Tina (my wife), and I have been married for almost thirty-seven years now. Years filled with trials and troubles, many brought on by our own actions and responses. Each trying to solve our marriage and personal problems in every way but the right one! However, our fundamental belief of marriage being a lifelong covenant between each other and God, over time provided a stable and uniting foundation, a source of help and hope. What we now know as truth today, came through the troubles and trials of life. I believe today more than ever that these truths can help your marriage too. Providing a foundation for stability and a singular path for help and hope as you work together to become one! (Ephesians 5:22-23)
Marriage Viewpoints
Historical viewpoint within society
Historically, or prior to the last hundred years, the purpose or form and function of marriage has been seen as; Creating a framework for lifelong devotion and love between a husband and a wife. A secondary benefit being social stability created by lifelong marriage relationships that provided a safe place for children to grow and thrive. This aligns with the Christian view or belief that marriage is a covenant and was not only created for the betterment and growth of the two involved in marriage but also for the benefit of community and ultimately humanity.
Current Western viewpoint
“Emerging views in society frame the marriage relationship as a contractual agreement between two parties for mutual individual growth and satisfaction”, (Timothy Keller, The Meaning of Marriage). A legal scholar named John Witt, Jr. believes the shift from the old view of marriage. [A divine sacramental symbolism and societal bond given for the benefit of the human race.] To the current view of marriage, is linked to the enlightenment of the 18th and 19 centuries. From the enlightenment, the “ME” or self-culture was born, and focus became doing whatever fulfills me personally. As a result, many today view marriage as merely an avenue to find emotional and sexual fulfillment and self-gratification, with little focus on the relationship or their partner’s needs. If something happens and you don’t fulfill your side of the bargain, the relationship and marriage are ended. Much like a business contract.
Christian viewpoint fundamentals
The Christian view of marriage is founded on Biblical truths and the understanding provided by the Holy Spirit that God is a God of relationship, that desires a relationship with us and in turn desires that we love one another as He loves us.
The following are high level Biblical truths on which the Christian viewpoint of marriage is founded and provides a high-level understanding of why we believe marriage is a covenant relationship, versus a contractual relationship.
- Marriage is a covenantal relationship between a man and a woman established by God during creation. Genesis 2:24-25
- Marriage is a covenant between husband, wife, and God. Mathew 19:6
- Marriage is a representation of Jesus and the Church. Each spouse focusing love outwardly to build up, serve, and support the other. Ephesians 5: 22-33
- Through Christ’s life and example, we see how we should mutually sacrifice and serve one another in love. Putting our spouse before ourselves. Phillippians 2: 4-8, I Corinthians 13: 1-13
The above list is by no means exhaustive nor complete. The verses simply provide data for the Christian viewpoint of marriage, and the alignment with the covenantal viewpoint and it’s intended consequences of family and social stability. Everyone reading this post has the right to your opinions, we merely ask that you do your own research and come to your own logical conclusions. We stand not on our own authority but on the authority of the Word of God, and our many years of marital experience!😬
Questions to Ponder
If you have made it this far in the post, congratulations and thank you. You have read through a lot of information. We are interested in your opinions on marriage and pose these questions for consideration. Is marriage a simple social construct, or an ideal that is outdated? Is it a contractual agreement, for one’s benefit, that can end at any time? Or is there more to it? What do you think?
Thanks for playing along, remember “All of life is ministry!”
Ricky and Christina Banks
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